CRY ME A FUCKING RIVER!
Arthur's View on the "Crisis in Haiti"
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On the left of the river is Haiti...on the right the Domincan Republic. Yeah...its our fault they are so poor! |
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If you are stupid enough to watch mainstream news coverage you have been bludgeoned by coverage of the "horrific" situation in Haiti. The effects of the earthquake devastated Haiti without question...but why? How does a moderate 7.0 earthquake level a nation? No one is willing to ask that question let alone answer it. Now the guilt police are out in force telling us that we should give money for the Haitian relief effort because we are more fortunate and they are so underprivileged and left out of global prosperity. The question I have is...How on Earth is a nation in the Western Hemisphere poorer than 90% of African nations? I'll tell you why.
Haiti has been a clusterfuck since its inception. It was the first "black-led" post-colonial nation which sounds great until you realize that Haiti was also the first nation to be controlled by the remnants of a slave rebellion. A nation made up entirely of former slaves was doomed from the beginning. How would have a nation of Roman slaves done? Miserably, of course. A people who are enslaved are clearly not capable of governing themselves...that is why they were slaves in the first place. Stronger and more organized groups in Africa (in this particular case) took the people that would be Haitians and sold them. Slavery is simply adverse selection, people who are captured and enslaved inevitably come from weaker cultures than the people who captured them or bought them. The idea that you could have the worst of the worst creating and running a nation is asinine.
The earthquake has supposedly created a "humanitarian crisis" in Haiti. This is also utter horseshit. Haiti IS A humanitarian crisis. Always has been and always will be as long as we keep propping them up. Forty percent of Haiti's national budget is foreign aid. Five percent of their population is HIV positive. Most are not vaccinated. The list goes on and on. The bottom line is that Haiti is a little piece of the fourth world on our doorstep. Our military and diplomatic efforts in Haiti have stretched back 100 years and every year Haiti gets worse. Plenty of bleeding heart pussies will say "We need to do more" but they could not be more wrong. How much aid have we given Jamaica or Barbados? None that I know of but these Caribbean island nations are pretty successful. The Dominican Republic? Also reasonably successful on the SAME FUCKING ISLAND as Haiti. There is NO explanation for Haiti's desperate situation other than Haitians themselves.
When the news of the earthquake broke I knew that Pres. Zero would be all over it. His domestic agenda is falling apart. His popularity is a distant memory. This "crisis" gave him an opportunity to use Americans white guilt against them AGAIN. His first trick was using white guilt to be elected and now he can leverage that guilt into bailing out a pseudo-African kleptocracy. Why would he be so interested in doing this? Votes people. I assure you that tens of thousands of Haitians will be allowed into the country (with NO medical check because that would be racist) and planted in areas where their votes could help Zero's party keep control of things. Haitians, being illiterate and destitute, will of course be on the government payroll and of course vote for Zero and his merry group of thugs.
I don't give two shits about $100 million dollars being given to Haiti by our government...$100 million dollars is like me giving a bum five cents. Its irrelevant. What is relevant is that anyone with three brain cells knows that none of that money will reach the hands of the people that need it. It will be siphoned by the kleptocrats that run Haiti. More disconcerting to me is the deployment of American troops to Haiti. What the hell are they supposed to do? Search and rescue? Rebuild the country? Really? We know that our military is not capable of doing that with any proficiency. The only thing that will come of sending 6000 troops to Haiti is a spike in AIDS cases around military bases and scores of illiterate Haitian military wives.
The solution to the Haiti problem is simple. I propose we open up bidding on the entire nation by American corporations. Should be pretty inexpensive and the corporation can do as they wish. They could move factories there and offer the Haitians jobs for $1 a day and if they didn't like it they could go starve, die of malaria or AIDS like they all would anyway. Within ten years Haiti would be a productive member of the world community. The people would have no freedom but they have done nothing to deserve freedom. Freedom is not a right...it is a privilege and Haiti lost that privilege a long time ago. I am really not sure if any corporation would pay $20 for Haiti. What do you get? A bunch of pigeon French speaking AIDS patients? A completely devastated landscape with no vegetation due to complete mismanagement of their natural resources? You do get cheap labor but I am not sure if that labor would be worth one cent an hour. If no corporation wants to buy Haiti I say we just surround it with US Navy allow no one to leave and cut off our aid and let the island depopulate until it was deemed an asset by a corporation.
If you hear someone whining about Haiti and how terrible they feel just point them to this article and tell them to shut the fuck up. DO NOT give these efforts a FUCKING dime. They don't deserve your money...they deserve their fate.
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