ARTHUR'S MAN OF THE MONTH: CHARLES MARTEL
In 732, a major event took place that shaped the world we live in. In fact, it may have been one of the important events in the course of Western Civilization. Yet...I am guessing that 99% of you have no clue what I am talking about which is why I bring it up. The event that I am alluding to is the Battle of Tours in which the forces of The Frankish King Charles "The Hammer" Martel defeated the boy raping Muslim invaders who had set their sites on Continental Europe after subduing the pussy Spaniards. This month's Arthur Hall Man of the Month is none other than Charles "The Hammer" Martel.
It is hard to overstate the importance of this victory. The goat herding hordes had already turned Spain into a Muslim nation and were set on conquering the rest of Europe. Obviously, had they been successful it is possible that I would be praising Mohammed and his patron saint Obama....but because of men like Martel, the truth can still be told. We all know that the Muslims would have never had a chance against the Germanic folks in the north of Europe but Martel and his men were the first to halt the advance of the Muslims in Europe. He must be turning over in his grave at this point seeing the destruction of the continent and culture that he helped save nearly 1300 years ago. The story of "The Hammer" should be told all over Europe to inspire a sense of pride in being European. Modern Euros are such disgraceful pussies that they are literally welcoming their own extinction and everyone knows it but them. They are an insult to their ancestors, the ancestors who created this world and everything that is good on the planet Earth. My disgust for the modern people of Continental Europe knows little bounds. But back to Martel...
Charles Martel was born in modern Belgium to a local leader and a concubine. He was said to have been a large and powerfully built man. His early career as a military leader foreshadowed his tactical genius. His first major victory was one with an army who was far smaller and he used tactics like "feigned retreat" that were new to European warfare. His attacks were always coordinated to happen in places and times that were unexpected to the opposing force. Another unusual trait of Martel was his fairness after securing victory. Dark Ages Europe was beset with cruelty and vengeance and sacking, pillaging and widespread rape was the norm for a victorious force, Martel would have none of that, he would generally allow the losing commanders to leave in peace.
After capturing power of much of the Frankish Kingdom in 718, he set out against the Saxons who had continually been a nuisance (as the Romans found out 300 years earlier) in modern day Germany. He did something that the Romans could never do...he defeated the Germans at Teutoberg Forest, the site of an epic massacre of three Roman Legions. Later in his reign, he subdued southern Germany and the Frankish Kingdom, at this point, encompassed nearly all of what is now Germany as well as Holland, Belgium and most of France. South and east of the Frankish strongholds, the Muslims were starting to invade southern Gaul (France) and Martel realized that he needed a full time force and a professional army to defeat the forces of the Amir of Cordoba. He seized church lands and treasure in order to pay his troops so that they could train year around. An excellent decision but a difficult one, at the time the Church was all powerful. His actions were possible grounds for excommunication but because he is the type of man we are to celebrate...he did not care.
The battle of Tours is seen as a "macrohistorical" event, literally meaning the history of the world could have been altered had the outcome been different. It is thought that only the Franks were capable of opposing the professional and lethal Calvary of the Muslim invaders. After Martel's victory at Tours, the Caliphate would never regain a foothold in Europe proper, instead being confined to Iberia. It would take another 700 years to rid the continent of the goat herders but the eventual victory of Europe over Islam was set in motion by the heroism and genius of Charles "The Hammer" Martel. Perhaps no man was more important in the political structure and practices of Dark Ages Europe. Before Martel, Europe was a series of small fiefdoms with small, unprofessional barbarian type military forces. He was the first, since the fall of Rome, to organize an army and lay the groundwork for a nation.
His genetic legacy is also outstanding. We all know that leaving behind strong and able sons is a big part of what goes into being a man. Legacies of great men like Alexander, whose accomplishments may be more impressive than any man in history, were not secured because of the lack of a legitimate heir. Unlike Alexander, Charles Martel's son Pippin the Younger, was recognized by the Church as the unquestioned leader of the Franks. He shared his father's vision of eradicating Islam from Europe and continued to battle the Moors in Gaul and Iberia. Most importantly, Pippin had a son named Charlemagne. If you don't know about the importance of Charlemagne, go read something. He may have been (next to his Grandfather) the most important leader in Europe's history. Needless to say, Charles Martel made an impact in his own time and for centuries to come. Very few men can challenge his importance or legacy in Europe. Charles "The Hammer" Martel is unquestionably a legendary man, more than worthy of his selection as the Arthur's Hall Man of the Month. Hail the Hammer! |
