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2008 VIKING ARCHIVE
10 More Manly Guns
12/30/08 — Mad Mike is Back with 10 More Manly Firearms
Previously I compiled a list of the Ten Manliest Firearms. I noted that variations on the list were certainly acceptable, but still ran into a bunch of grief from non-men who were unable to read, nor to grasp that real men don't care if other real men disagree with them. Still, there are a LOT of guns out there, so I figured it was time to compile another list. You should own all of these guns before Zero takes office, and then buy more until he wets his pants and blubbers like the wuss he is. And if you don't like this list, compile your own, or wait for the next one... READ MORE |
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ARTHUR'S MAN OF THE MONTH
12/05/08 — Geert Wilders of the Dutch Party for Freedom
In the wake of the recent terrorist attacks in India I feel it is important to reiterate our position that Islam is a direct threat to Western Civilization. Considering we just elected a man who clearly has sympathies for these gutless boy-raping terrorists it is important for men to understand that fundamentalist Muslims will not rest until we are all dead. In that light, my Man of The Month is someone who understands the threat of Islam to the Western World... that man is none other than Geert Wilders... READ MORE |
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HE'S OUR PRESIDENT NOW
11/09/08 — Arthur's Anger and Hope
What happened? Who's to blame? What do we do now? Read on and I'll tell you.
This is an article I never wanted to write. I hoped I could avoid it for at least four or eight years... but this day was inevitable. I am glad that I gave myself a 24 hour waiting period before sitting down to do this. An article written last night would have been nothing more than an emotional tangent. But I have calmed down and now I give you my thoughts, emotions, and sentiments... READ MORE |
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HAPPY HELLOWEEN!!!
10/31/08 — Why Arthur hates Halloween, but loves Helloween
Halloween is a pointless holiday. It has no reason for being other than for little kids to dress up and go door-to-door begging for candy. I have no problem with that, in fact, I did a lot trick-or-treating as a kid and a fair amount of bag snatching. That was always fun. That being said, I am disturbed at the modern state of this holiday
I may just be getting older but it seems that Halloween has changed significantly over the years. I remember it well, you get home from school, start working on your costume and by about 8:00pm you roll out with bag in hand with the single minded focus to fill it with as much candy as you can carry. The best trick-or-treaters were businessmen, they knew which neighborhoods were best and which houses were the "King Size Hershey Bar" houses. Unfortunately, things have changed for the worse... READ MORE |
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ARTHUR'S MAN OF THE MONTH: FEDOR
10/19/08 — Why Fedor Emelianenko is an Icon of Masculinity
This month's man is Fedor Emelianenko. Who?...you say. He is only the baddest man on the planet and the greatest fighter in the history of world. I know that seems like an outlandish claim but I sincerely believe that Fedor could beat the shit out of any of the countless billions of humans who have ever lived. Fedor Emelianenko is the undisputed king of the mixed martial arts world. I am a recent convert to the growing sport of MMA. My initial reaction to the sport was negative. I saw it as a methhead's version of the WWF. My impression was forged by watching guys like Tank Abbott who seemed as if they were snatched out of the trailer park and thrown in the ring for the amusement of a fan base whose entertainment palette included monster truck rallies, drag racing, and Godsmack. The sport has radically evolved since its initial debut into the national consciousness. The elite fighters now are not only top-notch athletes but are cross-trained in multiple forms of pugilism and grappling. Champions like Georges St. Pierre and Anderson Silva represent this transformation. I have zero doubt that either one of them could be elite boxers or Olympic-level wrestlers. Seeing these well rounded fighters demonstrate a wide range of skills is the reason I am now paying attention to the sport. Once I started paying attention I realized that there was a star whose greatness was so overwhelming that he was held in near mythical esteem. That man is Fedor Emelianenko... READ MORE |
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JOHN McCAIN AND THE SUPREME COURT
10/05/08 — Don't Like McCain? You Should Still Vote For Him
I hate John McCain. I’m also voting for him. If you’re man enough to suck it up and face reality, you’ll vote for him too after careful consideration of my reasoning. If, on the other hand, you’re so enamoured with mindless slogans and “hope-filled” rhetoric that you can no longer make rational decisions, then you don’t even have high enough T-levels to be reading this website, much less to understand what I’m about to lay down.
The most important issue of this election is not Iraq or even Iran. The rhetoric employed by both candidates to stir up their respective bases aside, the two candidates have virtually the same positions on most major foreign policy questions as well as on the conflict in Georgia (Yes, I know there are third parties on the ballot, but I’ll address that later). Additionally, there is no real issue surrounding Social Security or any other social programs because the Democrats are sure to gain a majority in Congress, which will guarantee that these programs stay in place no matter who is President. A Democrat controlled Congress also means that abortion laws will not change and a Federal ban on gay marriage is essentially precluded, so forget about the culture war... READ MORE |
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ARTHUR'S MAN OF THE MONTH
09/14/08 — Mustafa Kemal Ataturk
Welcome to the first installment of The Arthur's Hall of Viking Manliness "Man of the Month" series. I came up with the idea for this series a while back when I realized that many of you out there are not as well informed as I am. While I will never expect that any of you will be able to match wits with me, I do feel like it is my duty to educate the ignorant masses. The Man of the Month series is an excellent way for me to fulfill this duty. As you come back every month to read these genius-inspired articles, you will notice that I am going to take time to profile men that may have slipped through the cracks of widespread notoriety. Any man worth a shit knows and reveres men like Ronald Reagan or Winston Churchill, so I want to bring other real men to your attention... READ MORE |
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LIBERAL MORONS AND GAS PRICES
07/28/08 — Crazy Einar Talks Big Oil, and Big Idiots
"Gas is expensive because Bush has oil interests!"
"When Bush took office, gas was $1.46 a gallon."
The former statement is just a catchphrase for a shithead. The second is true, but ignores the fact that two years before, gas was 77c a gallon, here in Indy. In other words: It doubled under blubba clinton in two years, and neoliberal shitheads declared it to be a "Good Thing". When it doubled again under Bush, in 5 years, during a war in the Middle East, with a frothing nutjob in Venezuela and strife in Mexico and Nigeria, along with a massive demand increase from China, India and other developing nations, that was a "Bad Thing"... READ MORE |
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VIKING WEIGHTLIFTING Q&A
06/28/08 — Arthur Answers Questions from the AH Community
Over the past three years I have attained a certain level of credibility on the subject of bodybuilding and weightlifting. I get asked all sorts of questions by readers on a day-to-day basis. In an effort to make Arthur's Hall more interactive, I have decided to answer a series of questions in article format. I assume that if one guy asks a question, many more wonder about the same thing. So rather than bullshit around, I give you "Weightlifting Q & A: Thoughts from a Viking Genius"... READ MORE |
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MITT ROMNEY FOR VP
06/12/08 — Why Mitt is the Right Choice for John McCain
What role does a Vice Presidential candidate play? How much does a running mate matter? In typical years, a VP pick tends to be motivated by loyalty, friendship or simple electoral math. The VP nominee, historically, has had a nominal effect on the general election. This election will be different. Most Americans are not happy with the direction the nation is going. Both President Bush and the Democratic Congress have historically low approval ratings. Obviously, the American people are fed up. The source of that frustration, in my view, is the negative tone and hyper-partisanship that has typified the last 16 years of American politics. People want something different, for better (McCain) or for worse (Obama). Why is a pissed off electorate relevant to a discussion about John McCain's running mate? Let me tell you.... READ MORE |
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A CALL TO ARMS
05/18/08 — Men, It is Time to get Involved!
John McCain is our nominee for President of The United States. That we know. He was not the unanimous choice but, in the end, he won the Republican nomination and now another chapter begins in this historically insane election cycle. Since his coronation as party leader I have noticed that most Republicans are on board with him as our nominee. Two months ago, it seemed (to some idiots in the media) that the party would be split but we, in true GOP form, have closed ranks and that is a good thing. The main reason for this, I believe, is that we are witnessing a complete debacle on the Democratic side. Clinton is who she is...no mystery there. Obama, on the other hand, has had a tough couple of months and the so-called "Obamaicans" have now been introduced to Jeremiah Wright, The Weathermen and his flaccid inability to knock out a flawed opponent. At this point, I don't give a damn which of those two is the nominee. They are both a nuisance and neither is stronger than the other... READ MORE |
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JAPAN: WHY STOP AT TWO?
05/02/08 —Why We Might Need to Nuke Japan Again!
There was a time when the Japanese were a feared race. When samurai would compose soulful haikus in the shade of a cherry blossom grove. When the Empire of the Sun stretched all the way across the pacific and dared to challenge the sleeping American giant.
But no more. Now the people who once ruled the Pacific, humbled by their defeat in WWII, have evolved. Like a bold young clefairy in the presence of a moonstone, Japan has risen from the ashes of the Enola Gay's thermonuclear doose and transformed into a new being- a group consciousness, void of decency, logic or pride.. READ MORE |
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50 DO'S AND DON'TS FOR REAL MEN
04/04/08 — Apply Knowledge Liberally to Accentuate Manhood!
We talk a lot about manliness and what that means here on Arthur's Hall of Viking Manliness. It often takes the form of political conservatism, weightlifting, responsibility, tobacco use and as some would say, unhealthy love of guns. I got to thinking about how we are to live our lives on a day-to-day basis. Rather than wax poetic with complicated themes of manliness I thought I would give you "50 Do's and Don'ts for a Real Man". Enjoy!... READ MORE |
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FAVRE: TRIBUTE TO A LEGEND
03/06/08 — A Lifelong Packer Fan's Humble Tribute
I am a Packers fan by birth.I'll be the first to admit that at times, it was often difficult being a fan of the most storied franchise in NFL history. My family is from Wisconsin, however I did not grow up in the land of cheese, so it was a rarity to have the opportunity to watch my beloved Packers play on the local channels. In fact, it was hard to watch sometimes, even when it was on.
There were few bright spots during those years, better known as the "dark-ages" of Green Bay annals. My father would be the first to tell me of this so-called venerable team. Monumental stories of Jerry Kramer, Ray Nitschke, and Forrest Gregg being led by the immortal Vince Lombardi in many legendary battles such as the "Ice Bowl." He even handed down his Bart Starr autographed football to my brother and me, as though he was trying to prove that this team was once existed.
I vaguely remember sitting around the television set watching Lynn Dickey tossing the ball to James Lofton, then later Don Majkowski - The Majik Man - throwing it to Sterling Sharpe in what appeared to be a slightly promising future for the Pack. Were these moments to be the end of our decades-long slump? Not just yet, patience, maybe next year. over and over again. maybe next year... READ MORE |
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ROB HALFORD: GAY VIKING
02/28/08 — Yes... You Read That Title Right!
I know that for many of you this title of this article may be a bit disturbing. A Gay Viking? Blasphemous you say. In the case of Rob Halford, you could not be more wrong. Arthur's Hall of Viking Manliness does not generally consider homosexuality very manly. This article is mostly about Rob Halford but it is also about how we view homosexuality here on the Hall. It is widely held that this is a homophobic website. We here at the Hall do not give a damn what people do in their bedrooms. Legislating individual choice and preference is an affront to conservatism. We stand for individual liberty and that does encompass sexual behavior. What we do not appreciate is the thought that people are entitled to different social status due to their sexuality... READ MORE |
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THE RISE OF THE EUROPEAN UNION
02/05/08 — and the loss of liberty, freedom, and human rights at a fundamental level
To many idealists living in the United States, the European Union is the height of international cooperation and socialized living, where everyone is equal. Healthcare is provided for, and there are civil service jobs available to all. The IMF has the EU ranked 1st in the world for GDP, and social liberalism has firmly taken root to make all things better... READ MORE |
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THE MANLIEST GAME CONSOLES
01/19/08 — Shatner Defines Video Game Manliness!
Why am I writing an article about the manliest video game consoles? Two reasons... first, it is damn fun to step outside the conservative/libertarian politics and cartoonish (yet completely sincere) ape-like chest thumping of the majority of the content on Arthur's Hall for some old-school nerdiness. Second... this stuff is f-ing good for business! Our "Manliest Games" article was a hit all over the Internet, and brought tons of traffic and interesting people to Arthur's Hall. You hear me Joystiq, Kotaku, and Destructoid? I expect to see this article on your front page! I suppose magic happens when you write about something you really are excited about, and I do love classic games. Happily, I also love archaic video game hardware and I do feel as if I have something substantial to say on this topic. So here it is men, and women (all three of you plus Colette Bennett), The 5 Manliest Video Game Consoles of All Time!... READ MORE |
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ARTHUR IS PISSED
01/14/08 — Arthur Defines Viking Conservatism!
I am pissed off. Why? I am fed up with faux (or as I will call it from here forward "Fox") conservatism. We are going to look at what REAL conservatism is. Forget the divide and conquer "51 percent" mantra of Karl Rove. Real conservatism ALWAYS wins elections. It is a superior ideology but many Fox conservatives have perverted it to the point where I don't recognize it anymore. Our party should be ashamed itself. We have betrayed our hero and greatest president, Ronald Reagan. Like many of you, I was raised during the Reagan administration. As a six year old child, I told my father to vote for Reagan in 1984 due to his support of "Star Wars" missile defense. He did. I guess that was my first political stump speech. I am here to give another. I have a bigger audience now and the cause is as important as it was in 1984. Conservatives face a choice, we can get back to real conservatism or face political extinction. This is that clear to me... READ MORE |
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ARTHUR'S PICK FOR PRES
01/02/08 — The Official Viking Endorsement!
As we enter 2008, we, as Americans, have an important duty. We GET (and I emphasize GET) to choose our next president. This choice and process of electing a President is not to be taken lightly or for granted. Most of the other civilized nations use a psarliamentary system while most of the world's people are mere lemmings for dictators and despots. And the truth is that most of those nation's leaders are irrelevant because their nations are irrelevant. We choose who will be the most powerful man (and yes I meant man) in the world for the next four years, a weighty thing to be sure... READ MORE |
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